Friday Night Rant Towel Tastic


Whilst I really should be ranting about Syria and the British and American gleeful tap dance towards war – we were all saved (at least in this country) by the intelligent members of parliament, you know the ones, the ones we would actually vote for if we had a choice… the tit Cameron got his faced slapped with a giant red gurnard that was POPULAR opinion and he has had to have what could only possibly, maybe, be described as a highly amusing telephone call with Obama. Who will no doubt lead us into war somehow anyway…

So, a Syria rant wouldn’t quite do tonight, oh no, instead I bring you the MAJOR issue that is… are… fluffy towels. Why oh why are towels fluffy, it just isn’t right. They don’t dry you for one, they don’t serve their purpose. They tend to be affected by conditioner so much that they repel the water droplets from them back onto the skin. Who decided that fluffy towels are luxurious, surely a big thick piece of heavily woven cotton is much more luxurious, and I am sure you will find, much rougher to the touch also.

I love rough towels, they work, they get the blood flowing to the skin, they remove all the dead skin cells, the can even hurt your ears (grazes are good!), but, get this, THEY DRY YOU! (if you don’t believe me, next time you shower, try drying yourself with a tea towel, they may be small, but they are mighty powerful drying machines!)

Now, surely that is exactly what a towel should be, shouldn’t it? Well of course, but here is where it gets complicated… If you are at a beach, then rough towels just wont do, you see, there will already be enough sand in the towel to blast a city centre building from black to luminous white.. no, at the beach, a softer towel is required (notice how I didn’t use the term FLUFFY!).

I am not the only one either… it is time to name and shame. At a recent festival, I spent a good deal of time discussing this issue (towels, not Syria) with a certain Garry Openshaw, and guess what, he likes rough towels too! I am so please that I am not the only one as now I can start a semi political activist protest group to try and get hotels to introduce a rough towel policy for the sensible, normal, decent people to use. You know, those that know what is what and are actually just rather spiffing…

To towels, the rougher the better! Sign up to change the world below!